Endless
by SayAnythingElse
Summary: Her life was a teensy bit hectic, but she had a general plan. Until he looked her in the eye. ! She's not your average girl, but Seamus kinda likes that. S&P. Slightly AU.


Disclaimer: So not mine.

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Endless

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Maybe she wasn't perfect. What was perfect anyway? It's just an excuse. Being perfect is a way to cover up your flaws, your imperfections. And those things are what make you human. She would never again hide things like that. She was a well-groomed, trophy daughter. She never questioned anything, she took her parents' money and left them alone. But now, she was done. And it was fucking liberating.

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Pansy had been secretly saving money from her account since she was sixteen, in anticipation of this very day. She had a decent amount of wizarding money, all thanks to her paranoia, clairvoyance, whatever. She had packed the remainder of her belongings and floo-ed them back to school during the weekend she had been sent home because of her dear great auntie's death. She left a note magically glued to her bedroom door and hoped that her mother would walk down the hallway before the house elves took it down.

Thankfully, she did. And shortly after her arrival at Hogwarts she received a letter from her father. He presented her with a short and sweet ultimatum. Return home and he would forget about everything, or remain and be cut off. There was only a month and a half left of school, so she could rent a flat after her graduation. She would survive. Her life was a teensy bit hectic, but she had a general plan. Until _he _looked her in the eye.

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Pansy Parkinson wasn't exactly a typical Slytherin. Her parents were not Death Eaters, however they were supporters of his ideals. She was not obsessed with the Dark Arts and she wouldn't secretly jinx you between classes. Yes, she has an icy stare and it seems as though she only has one facial expression, a glare, but it's only her outside layer. Some people were surprised by this fact, others were not.

Pansy was partnered with Dean Thomas for her Advanced History of Magic report. She was not looking forward to it, she had to make up ten and a half excuses to explain skipping Sunday with Astoria. She took her time walking to the library and when she entered, she was horrified. Dean Thomas was sitting with Seamus Finnigan. What was she supposed to do? Go sit with them? She was not friendly with either of them. Would she have to talk to them, or listen to them talk about the things that go on in Gryffindor Tower, about Potter and Weasley? She was most likely grimacing as she sat down at the head of the table, with Dean and Seamus to either side of her. They looked at her.

She looked at Dean. "Well?"

Dean straightened up in his chair and buttoned his school sweater over his Hogwarts shirt. He was all business, especially compared to his friend. Seamus didn't even have his sweater with him. His shirt wasn't fully buttoned and his collar was up, his tie was loosely tied and draping around his neck, and his shirt was only a quarter tucked into his pants. His hair, which had grown a bit longer since his mother cut it over the Christmas Holidays, was ruffled and his sleeves were rolled up. He was a mess, but to Pansy it looked like heaven. She couldn't even imagine waking up and not having to brush her hair or look prim and proper. He tucked the pencil he brought from home to write quick drafts behind his ear and he closed his textbook. He stood up and Pansy got a whiff of his scent, and it was delicious. He looked at Dean and made him promise not to forget about helping him with his Transfiguration homework later on, and then he looked at her.

She locked eyes with him and she knew it was only for a second, but it lasted ages. She felt her pulse inside her and she could hear her heart beating. His Irish eyes were green, how perfect. So were hers. "I'll see you around." She curtly nodded. He sauntered out of the library. She busied herself with opening her textbook to the correct page instead of looking. She tucked her short, dark hair behind her ear and looked at her dark-skinned companion. This was going to take forever.

Pansy and Dean continued on with their work until she saw Seamus re-enter the library. She looked and then quickly away. She couldn't be caught looking at a half-blood. She would be skinned alive. Astoria would probably jinx her into hell and back and even throw in an Unforgivable if she knew she would get away with it. Seamus sat down at a table on the opposite end of the library. Pansy was secretly relieved. Until Dean Thomas got up from the table to retrieve a book. Pansy caught herself sneaking a glance. This was ridiculous, she was seventeen. It's not like she'd never seen a boy before. But she kept looking. There was nothing stopping her. Dean was shuffling through a bookshelf and there wasn't anyone else important around. She could look as long as she wanted. He looked up at her. She turned her head so she wasn't staring anymore. She looked back to see if he had stopped looking at her. He hadn't. He smirked at her, she would've averted her eyes already but she was intrigued. And when Dean Thomas dropped the book on the table she must've jumped ten feet. She quickly looked down, but out of the corner of her eye she saw him look at Seamus.

"Why did you do that?" She asked. She was embarrassed at how she probably looked to Seamus when Dean startled her.

She heard him laugh. "Pardon me."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Well, stop fooling around."

She busily wrote in her notebook until Dean began to read the book he picked. When Pansy looked up, Seamus was gone.

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Astoria was incredibly annoying. All she did was whine. How had she never noticed that before? Draco this and Daphne that. Astoria couldn't have always been this way, or maybe she had been and it just had never occurred to Pansy that she didn't like it. Now, every time she found herself in Astoria's company she yearned to either run away as far as she could or punch her in the nose until it broke. Today was one of those days.

Monday mornings were never fun, especially after barely getting any sleep. Pansy worked on her essay until Dean Thomas had to leave for dinner. Pansy would've gone too except for the fact that she had put off all of her other homework until now. She was up for hours thinking about potion ingredients and the proper hand and wrist movements for spell-casting. Now she was sure she would fall asleep during first period. Pansy was dragged to the Great Hall to catch a quick breakfast by Astoria and her sister Daphne. They were chatting endlessly about who knows what and things of the like. They sat down to breakfast and no sooner had they done that, Seamus walked into the Great Hall. Since the Slytherin table was the closest to the door, Seamus had to walk past her. She saw him out of her peripheral vision at first, slowly approaching. He looked exactly as he did yesterday in the library. He neared her. She sucked in a breath and held it as he passed behind her. She turned slightly to look as he left. She let out her breath slowly.

"That disgusting Mudblood should invest in a brush of some sort." Pansy turned to see Daphne eyeing Seamus with a smirk on her face.

Astoria agreed. "He looks positively wretched. But I suppose I would too if my blood was as dirty as his."

Pansy felt a rush of disgust. She had never been bothered by this sort of thing before. She didn't even think she could look at Astoria's blonde hair or Daphne's dark, beady eyes without displaying her stomach contents on the floor. They both looked at her expectantly and she rolled her eyes. "Yes, absolutely. Disgusting."

She went back to eating her muffin and wished breakfast would end sooner.

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It was three weeks before she saw him in close contact again. She was walking down the hallway on her way to Arithmancy and there he was in all of his glory. He was leaning against a wall, chatting with Lavender Brown. Oh, was Pansy ever relieved by the fact that she was traveling alone. None of her friends took Arithmancy, so she was on her own for the ten minutes it took to walk from her dorm to the classroom. It was delightful, she supposed. She didn't have to listen to any whining or complaining or degrading.

Anyway, there he was. Talking to her. She looked at the girl's face. She was smitten, her eyes were glued to his features. Her forlorn expression as she hung on to every word that he said, even if it wasn't to her, proved how hopelessly and endlessly she wanted him to realize her.

But he wasn't looking at her anymore, he was looking at Pansy. What was it about her that made him want to lose it?

He made eye contact with her as she passed by and ignored Lavender's incessant noises. Was it the way she confidently projected herself? Was it the way that she seemed to be a mystery, obviously hiding beneath her rough exterior? Or could it even be as simple as the fact that she looked amazing in a green scarf during the last Quidditch match they both attended? Perhaps he would never know. Maybe it was better that way.

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Seamus cleaned up for the Graduation Ceremony. It was most likely because his mother was there. Pansy didn't know if his father came or not, or even if he could go at all, because he was a Muggle. Hogwarts was Muggle-Invisible after all. But it was no matter to her, her parents didn't even show up. She had owled her cousin, Loretta, about perhaps staying with her after she graduated. Loretta took that as an invite. So she was the only family member of Pansy to show up. Which she was perfectly content with. For now anyway.

Seamus sat two rows in front of her during the Ceremony. All they really had to do was sit there as the Headmaster called out their names in one long paragraph. Then the Head Boy and Girl would get up to talk and blah, blah, blah. Pansy didn't even listen to a word of what they were all saying anyway. She was crazy enough to keep glancing at the back of his head. It wasn't like she could see his face, so why on Earth would she be staring at his hair? She felt as hopeless as Lavender Brown looked. Pathetic.

Standing at the refreshment table alone wasn't any girls' dream of how to spend her time. She spotted Loretta speaking with an elder woman who Pansy recognized as someone Loretta worked with but could not recall her name for the life in her. Perhaps it began with an H, she would probably never know. She heard people approaching and departing from the table behind her. She didn't even bother to turn to congratulate and wish her classmates well. She didn't turn until she heard a voice.

"You look good, Parkinson." It was Draco.

"I know." It was good of him to notice. She'd changed a lot since her first year; she'd even changed since the Christmas Holidays. In first year she'd been quiet and shy and she never really liked anyone that was in her house. She had no doubt been placed there for her family lines, but also for her ambition and her fondness of being in control. But everyone else was sneaky and rude and Pansy sometimes longed she was a Ravenclaw, the house where she had once secretly hoped she would be placed. By her sixth year, she had gotten a nose enhancement to fix what Pansy believed to be an awkward shape. Her teeth had been magically straightened and perfected in every other way they needed to be, and she had grown breasts and a sense of individualism.

But it was over the past year that she had really transformed, besides the physical aspects, her cutting her hair and having magic performed on making her skin tone even and permanently blemish free. She had grown as a person and truly matured. She sees past all of the blood-lines bullshit and wants to put all her conditioned prejudices behind her.

"Where have you been lately?"

"Here, Draco, at school."

"I meant in a mental sense. You've been distant." Draco drawled. And Pansy wondered what kinds of things Astoria was feeding him instead of snogging like any other couple their age. "It doesn't have anything to do with you up and abandoning your parents does it?"

"I forgot how quickly word gets around these days."

"Indeed it does." He looked at her as if she was on the verge of spilling her life story and her poor home situation and as if he was preparing to bolt if she began.

"I don't see how it's any of your business if I don't feel like speaking to my peers, Draco."

Sensing that Draco was about to reply, she glanced and luckily for her she saw Dean Thomas. "Speaking of peers, here's one I must talk to." She rolled her eyes just thinking about having a heart-to-heart with a Malfoy. "Dean!"

Dean turned around and looked a little surprised that Pansy was talking to him out in the open. He was walking with his girlfriend Gillian, who happened to dislike Pansy because of a certain incident in fourth year where Pansy told everyone how she fancied Lane Badgely and had recently taken to stalking him. The last part was a fabrication and Pansy and Astoria had misheard, it was actually Julia Penn who fancied Lane.

"I've been meaning to ask you, how did we end up doing on our essay report?" Gillian looked sort of bewildered that Pansy had something civil to say. It was as if she had never said a nice thing in her life.

"Yeah, actually, I've been meaning to find you. We received an E."

"Fantastic!" Pansy was dreading starting up small talk, which is where the conversation was heading, until someone called Dean's name and he turned to see who it was and when he turned back he said, "I've got to go, but I'll see you around. Bye, Pansy."

"Bye, Dean."

Gillian remained behind. "Just because you worked on a report together does not, under any circumstances, mean that you two are friends. Or even on speaking terms for that matter. Do not speak to us. I never want to see you again." She smirked.

Pansy would've retorted angrily but instead she just laughed and said, "Take that ridiculous look of you face and pull the stick out of your ass." Pansy smiled and waved cheekily. "Bye Gilly."

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Pansy walked into the hallway just outside the Great Hall. She leaned her back against the stone wall, the cool feeling it gave her made her jump from shock, but then she settled against the wall again.

"I don't think she's very fond of you, Pansy."

Pansy was sure her heart stopped beating. She knew that accent from somewhere. It was Seamus. He stood in front of her and she stopped leaning against the wall. Her heart started beating ten times faster than any heart should. She couldn't determine whether it was because she was nervous to be in such close proximity to him or if it was because her heart needed to make up for the previous three seconds it had stopped functioning.

"I doubt she ever was fond of me." Pansy was impressed, she sounded much calmer than she actually was, as her insides were churning.

Seamus smiled. "She took the Badgely incident pretty hard. I remember her crying for days." He rolled his eyes, which made Pansy smile.

"What can I say?" He didn't immediately reply, which made Pansy wonder if she had said something wrong. What if he was attached to Gillian in a brotherly way and he had meant for her to apologize for terrorizing her. It's not like she would've apologized even if he wanted her to. But she began to wish she had said something else, something wittier.

Seamus took a step closer. He was dangerously close to causing Pansy to go into cardiac arrest. Pansy couldn't help but move slightly closer as well. His face was less than three inches from hers and her hands were beginning to sweat. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek, she was bursting with anxiety. Just do it! Her conscious mind couldn't keep up with the rapid thoughts her brain was firing at her. She was suffering, couldn't he see that?

Pansy licked her lips in anticipation, an involuntary action that caused Seamus to smile. His lips crept closer and closer to hers. The blood rushed to Pansy's cheeks and she began to feel warm from her insides to the tips of her long fingers. And after an endless amount of milliseconds, he put his left arm around her waist and his right hand touched the side of her face. He moved in and his lips were touching hers ever so slightly and she wondered if he wanted her to finish it off. He didn't seem to be moving any closer. What if she did move forward and he pulled away or didn't actually want her? She began to move away, but her overwhelming desire caused her to move a centimeter or two until their lips fully touched. Her mouth was pressed against his and he ran his hands up and down her sides, while Pansy's arms seemed to magnetize themselves around his neck. He was delicious, his lips, his tongue, his teeth. All of him.

He tried to push her against the wall, but he stumbled over her foot. She may have bit his tongue to repay him. He smiled against her mouth. She returned his smile. She backed up onto the wall and pulled him towards her. He buried his face in her neck and she heard him laugh. He started to kiss her neck, he slowly pressed his lips against her collarbone, then slightly above, and slightly above again. His lips warmed her skin, making where he kissed burn and ache. He kissed her jawbone and she let out a sigh. Then he licked along her jawbone, where he had kissed before. She found this sort of odd but giggled anyway. She pulled his face to hers again and wondered how long they had been standing there or how long it would be until they stopped snogging. Or what if someone came out into the hallway and found them? It would probably be the weirdest thing anyone had ever seen. Cold-hard bitch and Slytherin Pansy Parkinson sucking face with the laid-back, charismatic, Gryffindor Seamus Finnagin. It was like if Pansy caught Daphne Greengrass and Ron Weasley. Totally strange and unexpected.

Seamus seemed to be un-bothered by these what-ifs. So, for now, she pushed these thoughts aside and concentrated on the Irish boy in front of her. They were together and that was all that seemed to matter now, in this infinite moment. The most wonderful, endless experience Pansy had ever encountered.

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**It's an odd pairing, tell me if you like. :)**


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